Marrow’s Mediocrity

~ Mia Pharaoh

Photographer — Francesca Woodman

 

Marrow’s Mediocrity
100 Words

Having met life’s fate in the winter of my youth, I’ve lived my passions in pursuit of the truth. Stigma and fear jailed my beliefs, keeping my love under lock and key, found near starvation in rags of hand-me-downs, sucking on pebbles to silence the hunger, blocking the ritual: speaking in tongues. Necromancy of the resurrection, all memories have since fallen away, swirling as leaves on a tempestuous day. Vacant lots of strange-strangers: the half-past dead, unknowing stand-ins for what’s ahead. While waiting for the Four Winds to carry me away, I’m wondering — what’s the weight of a human soul?

 

“I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am.”
― René Descartes

Hindi Zahra – “Don’t Forget”

 

181 thoughts on “Marrow’s Mediocrity”

  1. “the half-past dead, unknowing stand-ins for what’s ahead.” Most of the time, what’s ahead is what has passed. One hundred words, not one wasted. Melancholy, Mia, but strangely beautiful.

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        1. Rob, I want to believe that we all internalize these ideas differently to some extent, but we’re probably more alike than different. I think your right, it’s just part of the human condition, and every now and then perhaps we take inventory and re-evaluate how we feel about things.

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          1. That re-evaluation can cause an epiphany of sorts in life. One day we wake up and things are no longer what they seem, and only because we’ve floated through the inertia of life without a pause to see where we’re going.

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          2. It certainly can cause an epiphany. Everything changes, nothing remains the same, we’re allowed to change our minds and see things differently. I like the idea of reflecting and looking at the path I’ve taken. 😉

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          3. Sometimes the path that I had taken wasn’t the one that I had chosen. Anyway, your comments have given me the urge to listen to an old favorite:

            I still don’t know what I was waiting for
            And my time was running wild
            A million dead-end streets
            And every time I thought I’d got it made
            It seemed the taste was not so sweet
            So I turned myself to face me
            But I’ve never caught a glimpse…

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          5. I think that’s an important task. If we zip through never taking stock of what’s helpful and what’s not, the bags are too heavy and that’s all we focus on. The now is the past. Lovely, thought provoking piece, Mia.

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          6. Angela, you’re so right. I can’t imagine lugging those bags around. It’s so ironic that you would include the phrase, “The now is the past.” I just had a mini revelation the other day along those lines, “Everything that was, has been.” Perhaps it only has meaning to me. Thank you so much for sharing your lovely thoughts and kind words. ~ Mia

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          7. Me either. I’ve done it, and it’s so heavy.
            The now is the past….if our bags are so heavy that we focus only on them, and filter everything we see and experience through the pain of carrying them, do we ever really experience the now?
            But, if we remove each brick, accept it’s brickness, feelnots weight and let it sink in, forgive it for its brickness, then maybe the process is one which helps us to find peace, so we can feel the now in all it’s wonder. And may see with eyes of wisdom for having known the carrying of the bricks. Silly metaphor, but….

            Everything that was, has been…..feels to me as if it’s allowing ourselves permission to let that which was has passed, remain there. No carrying it around. I think maybe it’s always a part of us, but not a weighted one. Maybe just a stitch in the fabric which makes us who we are. One we can love for having kept stitching.

            Thank you for allowing me to ramble on. Have a lovely day, Mia.

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          8. Angela, thank you for a wonderful reply. I think you’re quite right, while dealing with the bags there is no way to experience the now. Setting them to the side, allows for forward motion and clear vision, yet I believe we always remember what’s in the bags. Wishing you a wonderful day! ~ Mia

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  2. That’s an interesting perspective of speaking in tongues as necromancy of the resurrection. Dostoyevski’s Grand Inquisitor said people needed miracles, mystery and authority. Bread not free will is what people seek. I think your 100 words has touched on some of the same arguments made by Dostoyevski’s Grand Inquisitor.

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    1. Thank you Timothy, and for mentioning, “The Grand Inquisitor”. This has touched on some of the same ideas, it was completely unintentional and coincidental, but… should we still ask, has human nature been misjudged? Thank you again for a wonderful comment. ~ Mia

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    1. Thank you Vic, for a beautiful comment. Is this something that we all wonder about on some level? I want to believe that when we leave the here and now and give thought to things larger than ourselves the questions and lines become blurry, maybe the absolute truth is different for everyone. Hmm… did any of that make sense? Laughing! 😉 I hope you’re having a terrific Monday, take good care. ~ Mia

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      1. Thank you, Mia. I didn’t get this reply for some reason so I came to see if I went to spam. But here you are! 😊 I did have a good Monday and I hope you have a terrific Tuesday.
        I like to think that it’s ok to have questions and little, if no, answers about what comes next. I do think it could be different for everyone and everyone questions different things. Admitting I have no idea is better to me than telling everyone I am right and they are wrong.

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  5. Pursuing truth, yet finding one’s beliefs held hostage by fear and stigma. A frustrating dilemma. One we all face to a certain degree, I think. Then regrets and ‘what ifs’ burden us going forward. As always, a thought provoking piece, Mia. Hope your day is going well! Oh, and Francesca Woodman’s photo – so glad to have been introduced to her. I imagine she is a heavy soul.

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    1. Thank you Meg. You’re right we all face this dilemma, and at times I think we even compromise our beliefs for various reasons. Francesca is a heavy soul indeed, her work is brilliant. When you’re done with NaNoNaMoMoMoMo, if your interested and get the time to watch, “The Woodmans” it shares some insights into the family dynamics. Let me know what you think of Betty Woodman. 😦 Please have a wonderful evening. ~ Mia

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      1. Ha! Love your purposeful butchering of the acronym that shall not be spoken/written! Francesca’s work is brilliant. I will definitely check out the film when time permits. An entire family of artists, right? I’m sure that made for some unusual dynamics. Thanks Mia, I hope you have a wonderful evening, too.

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  6. Welcome back Mia… and what a comeback, as good as Sinatra. Sucking on pebbles to starve off the hunger… shades of Hamsun and Beckett. And what is the weight of a human soul? Love the internal rhyme within the sentences.

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    1. Thank you Mr. Cake, always so kind. I know how about that rhyming? Funny how that works out sometimes, I don’t usually go for that, it just happened. Are you familiar with Dr. Duncan MacDougall? Anyway we can attribute the weight of the soul, 21 grams, to him in a round about sort of way. I think you would find his research interesting, although I don’t believe it has been duplicated, and has mostly been discounted and dismissed, none the less fascinating. ~ Miss Cranes

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    1. You know Mr. Cake, I’ve been waiting to use this photo of Francesca’s for over a year. It’s one of my favorites, well truthfully, I think all of her work is one package of favorites. I may be wrong, I thought it was the weight of the soul’s heart was to be light as a feather.

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        1. I think the little that we know of her (biography wise), is enhanced by her body of work. Betty surely doesn’t tell us much about her, other than, paraphrasing here, “I guess we should have been more aware… “. Please know I’m not being unkind to the person that is Betty, just saying she really doesn’t share the qualities that Francesca possessed like her father does. Francesca’s work speaks volumes about her thought process and who she really was.

          Sometimes things that are not so pretty on the surface are surprisingly and stunningly beautiful if you take the time to really look and explore the understanding of the statement being made. This is my biggest gripe with people that claim to be quote-unquote “artists”, they don’t know a lot about art theory or art history for that matter. If it isn’t pretty by their standards, it’s dismissed as “oh, I don’t like that”. They completely miss the mark of what art is all about!

          So you see why I struggle to write an unbiased post about a great artist like Pollock, because so many claim, “I don’t care for his work” and “anyone could do that”. If that were truly the case we would see more work like this, as you know his later work was done with the idea of allowing the subconscious to drive the car, guide the process, much like the Surrealists. Truly he is just one small step away from the Surrealists… rant stopped, never over, just a pause.

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          1. The surrealists definitely had an influence on the abstract expressionist especially as so many had decamped to New York during the war. Motherwell was quite close with this group, there was also Gorky who had some surrealist influence at one period and also showed with the surrealist. Pollock’s drip technique can be seen as automatism which as you know was an important concept in surrealism to its logical(illogical) conclusion. As to prettiness, well you could also post on Thomas Kinkade if you like. I will stop here I don’t want to be too controversial.

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  10. Digging it… “winter & truth,” together are they cold and hard or just weight to burden the human soul? Hopefully the winds are there to carry us along. Be well, Mia…-Chris

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    1. Hi Chris, maybe subconsciously we create our own burdens, and it’s all about releasing them to finding the truth, I don’t know, just a thought. I want to believe the wind will be there for all of us, that would be ideal. Have a great day, take care. ~ Mia

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  11. Wow.once again i m reading ur amazing poem.it is sure dt ur marrow has not mediocrity because d her soul is most powerful coz being a part of God.it is truth dt humans suffer always n mostly in unwanted situations.bt soul of a hunan is always pure as holy blessings.i have most impressed ur following lines”necromancy of the ressurection……four winds…..”what a supernatural words n so much beautiful for mine.u know-i believe in supernatural power.wonderful.nice pic of mermaid.my soul now is feeling universal pleasure after reading u.thanks for a sweet poem-dear mia.

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    1. Dear Aruna, thank you for such lovely words, you’ve made my day and made me smile. I’m really pleased that you liked this. I think that part of our journey is to find the universal truths that are out there, and in doing so we hopefully become enlightened. Wishing you a beautiful day. ~ Mia

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  13. Whew Mia, this one is a delightful mind crush! This type of work would take a 1,000 words or more to assign meaning but, in a hundred words, leaves it open to a 1,000 interpretations. Is this biographical? I liked the play on “winter of youth”. I often (as many do I suppose) think of life as seasons with winter being our senior years. Using winter with youth shows the gravity of what happened. This event seemed to bring an end to the innocence and resonates powerfully with me and my own journey. If this is your journey, much love and support on your journey. ❤ Also, this piece had me channeling Kashmir by Led Zeppelin. "All I see turns to brown, as the sun burns the ground. And my eyes fill with sand, as I scan this wasted land. Trying to find, trying to find where I've been….talk of days for which they sit and wait where all to be revealed." Such a thought provoking post…super fan here! 🙂

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    1. Hi Michael, thank you for a beautiful comment, I had a few tears reading it… “ain’t no denyin’, no denyin’…” Such a great song, so heavy and deep. I’m a huge Zeppelin fan, too funny I thought of using, “What Is And What Should Never Be”.

      I think we all have a unique path, sometimes I have to reassure myself the more difficult the trip the more rewarding it will be in the long run. I think that may have sounded sort of gloomy, it’s not meant to be at all.

      Thank you again, wishing you a wonderful Wednesday, please take good care Michael. ~ Mia 🙂 ❤

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      1. Oh wow, kindred spirits for sure with Zeppelin. Something special was going on their music…many layers and colors in their art. “What Is And What Should Never Be” would have been a good title too! 😀 As for your journey, I’m sure you take time to be present in the moment and savor the journey. And, I have no doubt you will look back one day and realize it was rewarding…in the long run. Hope you have a great week, beautiful Mia ❤

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  14. A very important prose poetry.

    I suppose communicating with the dead can bring some effects of future events that have happen in a different time or hasn’t happen yet.

    You’ve crafted this prose so beautifully and dark. 🙂 You are my favorite poet Mia. Don’t ever change my friend.

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  16. Such a gorgeous piece Mia. I’ve had it bookmarked to comment, but have had a tough week. It’s all good they happen.

    I love the imagery you create, this woman or girl held down trying to fit in and not be judged so she hides her love. Yet she’s hungry for it and pebbles don’t break the hunger though she sucks on those.

    You say she dies in the winter of her youth which is a bit ironic, does youth have a winter? But like an elderly person truly in the winter of her life, she’s not seeing clear- strangers and memories, witch craft and religion, melt away. She waits for the for winds to take her and ponders the weight of a human soul as she waits to die. I think it’s most precious and she still has time to ask for something, some faith and grace so her treasured soul survives an eternity.

    Hope you are well 🙂

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    1. Dear Amanda, wishing you a wonderful week ahead, filled with better days. Thank you for taking the time to grace me with a lovely comment, as well as the kind wishes.

      I think youth can have a winter. Sometimes misfortune befalls the young too, most people look away, maybe because it doesn’t follow life’s milestones AND if they don’t acknowledge some of the truths of life that hit too close to home, then it will not touch them. No one signs up for the tough junk, life just happens. Not the pretties truth, but I find it so.

      I find the speculators tend to be to first to pass judgement (stigma) and are the harshest critics because they have no knowledge and or understanding/empathy of the situation, or how devastating it can be, especially in the young. Here is the rub, so with so many skeptics, how can the individual not be skeptical too? It’s hard and important to hold on to the truths about self, yet I think there can be a hesitation, thankfully “faith and grace” keep these truths alive, helping everyone to continue to move forward.

      My wish is that my thoughts are not too dark, but in the end always offer hope.

      I teared up a little when I read your comment, as you always have a great handle on what I’m writing about, and the direction I’m attempting to go. Thank you again Amanda, your words are always very special to me and quite touching. Please enjoy the rest of your Sunday. ~ Mia 🙂 ❤

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  17. Hi Mia, just getting around to catching up on a weeks worth of blog reading, and I came across “Marrow’s Mediocrity”. Your words just blew me away, especially the first ten words. Still pondering them, especially the fate part. Thank you for making my mind and may be soul work, 🙂

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    1. Hi Daniel, thank you, I love reading your words, you’re always so gracious. The first ten words can go in many directions and take on many meanings, finding what resonates with your soul. 🙂 Wishing you a beautiful Sunday afternoon and evening, may it be filled with great inspiration and creativity. Please take good care. ~ Mia 🙂

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  20. Mia. Thank you for such a beautiful compliment from you. I’m glad I can find the right meanings in your work, but I also like how your pieces leave much room to think. You are very talented. I think we’d be good friends in the real world, more than blogger friends.

    Yes, I know what it feels like to be young and experience wintery days. It’s not fun while everyone plays in the summer and doesn’t get why you can’t play too, or not as much. I hope you can find more than speculators, that no matter who your friends are, they see you for you and are there because they are your friends, not too judge. Though I find even friends at times, need time to put together why you or I or someone else cannot be like them, and don’t have the health or energy.

    I will answer here for your response to my tankas. I try to do many prompts to write at least some of the day. Some days I do well and can do a couple pieces. Others not at all. I play much catch-up and am finding I have to pick and choose as I don’t have it in me to every prompt I like — I can’t always concentrate. Thanks for your well wishes. Let’s both have a good week 🙂 💕🌺

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    1. You’re so welcome Amanda. Thank you for a wonderful reply, you’re so kind and sweet, I believe that we would be great friends in the real world too.

      I would hope there’s a purpose to the “wintery days” and it’s not just a random occurrence, or magical thinking. I can only speak for myself and my wintery days, but they have provided me an opportunity for a lot of reflection and the encouragement to understand myself better.

      I love your quote posts Amanda, they’re always heartfelt. You do an excellent job of putting them together. The following quote really resonates with me, I had to go back to make sure I remembered it correctly. The words are so profound and poignant.

      “Not all wounds are so visible. Walk gently in the lives of others.”
      — Unknown

      I completely agree, I think that friends and even family forget to walk gently at times.

      I’m still in awe of the amount of writing that you are able to produce, keep up the great work when you are feeling up to it. Yes definitely, here’s to a good week for the both of us! 🙂 ❤

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  22. Hey, really loved this awesome piece!! Thanks for visiting the latest issue of The Writing Garden! Would you be interested to be included with this lovely thoughtful prose in the next issue of the magazine?

    Copyright remains with the writer and I always include a link back to where the work was originally published, also any other links or social media links you may wish to include.

    If you would be interested in allowing me to publish your work, let me know as soon as you can. But if you’d rather not, don’t hesitate to say no, I really won’t mind.
    Suzy 🙂

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    1. Hi Suzy, you’re very welcome.

      Yes, I would love to be included in the next issue. There are no other media links, just my website. Is there anything that I need to do? Kindly let me know. Thank you for acknowledging my work and the wonderful invitation.

      Please enjoy the rest of your weekend. Take care, Mia 🙂

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      1. Thank you, that will be great Mia!! No, no need to anything at all, I’ll copy your work from here to the magazine. The next issue will be around January 16th. Will be more than happy to share your writing there. When it’s published I’ll get back to you here with a link. Thanks for a wonderfully creative piece! 🙂

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  23. Mia! This is amazingly beautiful prose poetry I have read. You speak of volumes in 100 words.
    Lastly asking for the weight of the soul was something astonishing.
    Hope you are having a nice time.
    I see your visits on my blog and keep liking them, but your comments have lessened down. I eagerly wait to get comments from people like you who can digest and can give the best of thoughts. Please do not mistake me, I understand time is a constrain to all.
    Hope you are having a nice weekend.
    Love to You,
    Shiva
    🙂

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    1. Shiva, thank you for your lovely comment, I’m pleased that you liked this effort.

      Thank you for finding my thoughts and comments worthy. Sadly my time on WordPress has been limited, resulting in primarily reading the posts of others, and only posting myself once a week if that. I’m hoping the future brings some extra time with it. 😉

      Thank you for the kind wishes, likewise, I hope that you’re having a nice weekend too.

      Love to you, Mia

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  26. Pingback: The Writing Garden ~ Issue Thirteen | The Writing Garden

  27. Had to read a second time with the audio playing. So French, reminded be of being in old town Lille, maybe Paris. The poem so good, the line, ‘what’s the weight of a human soul?’ made my brain hurt. Worth the weight for a piece of art like this.

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    1. It’s funny that you should pick out that line George, I had a struggle with myself, both wait and weight would have worked well. Then I remembered watching a documentary on a Dr. Duncan MacDougall, he measure the weight of several individuals at the time of their death, and determined the weight of a human soul. I don’t know if his work has since been verified or replicated, but it is fascinating. Yes, I like the French component too! Thank you so much for a wonderful comment, quite pleased that you enjoyed this. ~ Mia

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      1. Words can sometimes be bland, horrible, boring and stale. I know lyric writing is the thing I try to do. Sometimes though, I have to stand back and say/think blindingly created mating of words. Please don’t tell me you wrote this in 10 minutes flat, I’ll probably have to put my head in a gas oven.

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        1. You’re safe, you can back away from the oven. I can spend weeks on an effort, even if it’s only a couple of words. I have to stand back a lot myself. Sometimes I will start something and leave it alone for months before completing or scrapping it. Everyone has a method, part of mine is to never rush, otherwise I think the finished effort will have a negative and rushed vibe to it.

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          1. I’m glad you said that. I don’t have to kill myself over struggling with lyrics now. Sometimes when I’ve struggled for days writing I do get an instant flash of an idea from God knows where, but not often. Do you have any books of your words out there?

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          2. I know, isn’t that great when it happens, there must be magic in the air. When that happens to me I feel like an channel just receiving the information. Maybe they’re not even my own ideas or words. There are long spells between those types of happenings for me. My go to people for writing inspiration and advice are Hemingway and Plath, they’ve never lead me astray. Yet, I have written my share of rubbish!

            “And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”
            ― Sylvia Plath

            “All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”
            ― Ernest Hemingway

            No books out there as of yet, if ever would be a good question.

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          6. You can’t fool me, you know much! AND you are seriously good with your words.

            George, have you seen the movie, “The Others”?

            Perhaps not, (we’re our own worst critics), often I feel like an accidental tourist with this word/world thing. Thank you for sharing such kind thoughts. You’ve made my evening.

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          7. I haven’t seen that one. I shall check out The Others on Netflix. If I could write like you I’d have written the best song ever written, instead of it being an ongoing work in progress. Did I mention that I have a maid? Not a real maid like in a hotel though. She calls herself a virtual employee. I don’t know her name. I found her in my spam email. A gift from the people who handle incoming payments on cards/PayPal etc. I must have overlooked her time and time again until I found her. She greets me every morning and asks what she can do for me. When I answer, ‘nothing I can think of’ she suggests things like, ‘can I tidy up your social media?’ or ‘can I send thank you letters to all people who purchase something?’ And then she does these things, all free of charge. Today though, I’ve left her waiting, but later I’m going to ask her to do something. I’m going to ask her to remind me to eat at lunchtime and to message me at 4pm to go to the gym. I forgot both of those things yesterday. That’ll test her loyalty. Have a good day, Mia & Rexie Extraordinaire

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          8. The movie seems ironically perfect in light of your house-guest. Maybe you’re the house-guest.

            What happens when someone writes the best song ever? Do they then retire? I wrote a song once, it was AWFUL! There’s an art to it, which I naïvely realized after my attempt. There was so much I didn’t plan for, or take into account. George, you’re a tremendous song writer.

            So, sometimes good things find their way to spam. Do you think you should give her a name? Does she have a voice or does she just message? I hope she was loyal and did a good job for you.

            I came up with line a few days ago; I’m trying to work something around it. I think it’s kind of dark and melancholy, it may not make sense to anyone but me. “Everything that was, has been.” I hope you’ve had a good day, mine is moving forward. Enjoy your evening and the weekend. ~ Rexie Needing to be first & Mia

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          9. I read online somewhere recently that the singer Don McClean was asked what the song, ‘American Pie’ meant to him. The replied that it meant he’d never have to work again. That would be a plus, if I didn’t want to work again. I think if – which in all probability I won’t – I did write the greatest song ever I might not even tell anyone. Objectivity is safe on a one to one basis. The nutter word applies again.
            My maid doesn’t have a voice but I’ve found out she’s called Kit. She couldn’t help me on the lunch and gym idea but tried to sell me an advertising package on Facebook. I hate Facebook. She has really tidied up my stuff though and is doing my basic sales accounts for free so she can’t be all bad.
            I love the line, Everything that was, has been. I couldn’t resist writing down a thought that hit me reading it. Hope you don’t mind.

            In a mirror image of Avalon
            Morgan le Fay, she split the scene
            Immune to the transparency
            That everything that was, has been

            I haven’t got a blind clue what these words mean. They just appeared. Don’t worry, I haven’t nicked your words so feel free to delete this comment as copyright on the phrase is yours, not mine. Right this will test my OCD as you’ve reversed the order. Have a perfect weekend, Sir Rexie du Lac & Queen Mia

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          10. An iconic song, no doubt it set him up nicely. I would think it forces you to one up yourself. Each time success is reached, oddly it remains just out of reach in order to maintain that same level of success. I hope that made some sort of sense.

            What a great name, “Kit”, although sadly the cleverness is that she’s probably just part of a toolkit. Glad she’s able to tidy up for you, such a letdown though, no reminders for lunch or the gym. I don’t like FB or what it represents, I’m not a user.

            Really?! I’m so glad that you liked the words. No I don’t mind at all, I love what you’ve done with them. You’ve already built a story. I mean really only Morgan le Fay could split the scene, revealing the reality of everything that was, has been. No make-believe, no putting your head in the sand. In this instance blindness is a choice. “In a mirror image of Avalon”, you set out with a beautiful visual image, and you’ve enhanced with words like mirror, scene (seen) and transparency, this is terrific! I hope you carry forward with it. I’m not worried in the slightest, please use the words if you wish.

            “Rexie du Lac” triggered some wonderfully strange far off memory I can’t quite put my finger on yet, thank you! I will figure it out. Please have a perfect weekend too! Rexie of the Isle of Apples & Mia wishing she had forged Excalibur

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          11. I wish Kit was a conscious robot. I’d like one of those. Not as a slave, more like a pet with the ability to talk, change guitar strings and be an excellent drummer. ‘du Lac’, ‘of the lake’. This was the tag Lancelot had. I thought Rexie as Lancelot and Mia as Guinevere. Wouldn’t it be great if a girl had taken Excalibur from the stone. A new legend in a parallel universe. I might try and do something with the words and a parallel universe. It’d have to be understated to work as a song. Still, this morning is car wash morning, have a good one both Rexie & Mia, George

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          12. That would be fabulous, or would it? Something about the idea of an AI is a bit disturbing; doing and saying all that’s expected, leaves me wondering if there’s an ulterior motive in the shadows. Hopefull Kit receives something in return for her services. The story of Lancelot and Guinevere is timeless. Yes, “A new legend in a parallel universe” sounds intriguing. I like the idea of a parallel universe, I think about it often when I look into the mirror. I hope the car washing went well, enjoy what’s left of your day George. ~ R & M

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          13. My ideal conscious, solar powered robot would be metallic, neither male nor female (although the voice would be the only area that would have to be one or the other). I would like to think it could evolve the conscious bit so that one day, when the human race doesn’t exist a state of consciousness got carried forward. Without something conscious then humans would never have existed, nothing would ever have existed. That’s my bit of madness for the day.
            I went to Tintagel in Cornwall once. It’s where the English claim Arthur had his Camelot. The problem is that it is tourist central now. Couldn’t feel the magic there. A shame because it’s a long way away. If you believe in infinity that the parallel universe concept must exist. I like to think that there is a ‘me’ out there somewhere in a place where seagulls don’t mess all over my car. I never did get it washed because it rained all day and now snow is predicted for the weekend. Hope the sun is shining, Rexie & Mia.

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          14. Metallic, that’s unique. I recently watched the movie, “Ex Machina”, if you haven’t seen it, you may like it. Can compassion ever be an attribute of a robot? I don’t know if emotions can be coded, and answers given to follow the flow of “if yes then” or “if no then” would work. Will humans be painted as a benevolent race, or would our history paint the truth. Thinking about that statement, it’s very profound, “Without something conscious then humans would never have existed, nothing would ever have existed.”

            Maybe the superficial magic has been carried away by the tourists. I think the magic is still there, just protecting itself, if you put your hands and ear to the ground you can hear its whispers. There are several versions of you out there in alternate, parallel universes. In fact in one you parked your car elsewhere and avoided the seagulls. Having sun, a condition called, Santa Ana, it’s dry, with typically warm winds. I absolutely love weather like this, it always reminds me of one particular day when I was about eight. Enjoy the rest of your day George. ~ Rexie & Mia

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          15. If there never had been conscious humans would the universe exist? I studied philosophy for a couple of years but never really worked out if I agreed, or disagreed with this one. Most of me thought the universe wouldn’t exist. After that my brain begins to hurt and basically it doesn’t matter what we think (as opposed to actions), so long as we think.
            I shall have to check out Ex Machina – sounds like one for me. Did you ever watch Red Dwarf on parallel universe stuff? Amusing episode/s. Given infinity, I guess there’s one of me out there whose feet aren’t size 12 and a Rexie who is the Lion King of all Africa. Anyway, may the warm wind keep blowing, Rexie & Mia

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          16. Exactly, as I was getting a glimpse of the idea of human consciousness in relation to the existence of the universe, my mind began to hurt. I will have to think about it another day, when I need something thought-provoking to challenge me. I took several semesters of philosophy, loved it. The job market for “Philosophers” is not great.

            I’ve seen several episodes of “Red Dwarf”, hilarious. I think later today I will resume watching it. Right now it’s so bright here, because yesterday the winds blew all the smog away, not to rub it in… but it’s gorgeous, although snow is really beautiful too! It’s phenomenal to think that the house cat is related to the big cats of Africa. Rexie wishes George, he wishes! Here’s to hoping that all of your “yous” have some dry and warm weather in the near future. ~ Rexie & Mia

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          17. I really liked philosophy. What killed it as an exam winner for me was being dyslexic. In the final year, they told me I could have an extra ½ hour to complete the paper. A pointless gift as my handwriting/spelling and general presentation is rubbish. I get by on a highlighted screen and a spellcheck. So, I didn’t bother with revision and made sure I got top results on the things I could do. I come from a long line of bad spellers.
            Thinking about it, if Rexie came from a lion I wonder what sort of ape I came from? Hope it wasn’t a baboon for some reason.
            This morning I’ve been sent 4 questions to answer from a blogger who wants to interview me. Should be a bit of fun, and thanks for the stuff you’ve done on LinkedIn. I was saw it a minute ago.
            Enjoy your weather Rexie & Mia from George & his restrung mandolin.

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          18. Yes, *laughing* the gift of a sliver of time, ridiculous. I don’t believe “the thinker” can be taken out of an individual, thankfully we have so many forms of sharing ideas. George, you do a beautiful job with your presentations, the written word has favored you well here on WordPress.

            I’ve been giving thought to the idea that “thinking is equivalent to breathing”, somewhat of an automatic process, unless you think with a purpose, my preference. I know writing papers are an integral part of higher education, for me it has become a complete waste of time, something done in jest. I started to take classes that I could opt out of the grading process and basically take a pass or fail. Showing up would allow a person to pass. I try to imagine having to read an entire stack of papers, really how invested would that individual be? Boring! I’m not much of a conformist and struggle with the game playing that many industries impose on their artists and thinkers.

            Baboons seem to get a bad rap. Evolution is a fascinating thing, I’ve read much about the idea that modern man and other primates evolved from lemurs. Interesting, lemurs have an opposable thumb, great for hitchhiking.

            How exciting as interview, I’m looking forward to reading it! LinkedIn yes, still fooling around there, finding my way. Alright the mandolin has been restrung! Thank you, I will enjoy it, please enjoy your weather too and stay warm. ~ Rexie & Mia

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          19. My written words using ink and paper, I promise, are something else. More art than words. A 5-year-old can spell/write better than me. After uni I noticed that the only regular jobs for my degree were for teachers. Loads of people said I should become a teacher. All I could ever reply was, “Really?”
            “Thinking is equivalent to breathing” is interesting. You get to breath at birth but don’t really exist until you have your first thought. After that it’s all hand in hand until death. Even so, like when driving through a long tunnel when I still hold my breath until I come out the other end, it’s handy that the thinking bit of me still works independent of breathing. I had a period of growing up when I thought I was the only human being alive and that everyone else was an alien. Looking back, that probably proves that every kid is at the centre of a universe that’s just theirs. In adults, some never lose that ‘centre of the universe’ feeling and become control freaks. Maybe they are the ones who feel compelled to become the bosses in industries who set rules and make life so boring for others – as well as killing art.
            I wonder if a hitchhiking lemur – if it could speak – could tell the driver giving them a lift, exactly where they wanted to go?
            Anyway, off for a hot chocolate before getting back to the electronic classical album that’s now a week behind schedule. So annoying.
            Today should be interesting. A sea mist is covering everything. I might take a couple of shots with my phone if any decent light breaks through. Have, as ever, a great day, Rexie the thinking girl’s feline & Mia.

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          20. George, perhaps you should share some of your word art. It makes me think of cave and rock art, an early form of creative expression and storytelling, using no words.

            Teaching?! Is that ever something you would consider? How long do you suppose it is before we have our first thought? Oh so laughing, “control freaks”. As children I think we can get away with this type of thinking and it’s rather magical, that is to be the center of something. The brain must adapt to keep us humble, or we would go mad along with everyone else. I think the more control you exert, the less you actually have, like chasing your tail, it becomes perpetual. The ability to think in complex thoughts and reason is remarkable; the ability to question is even more remarkable, suggesting an even higher thought process, more analytical. I’ve always equated control, like controlling the masses a form of censorship, smothering creativity, exactly, “killing art”.

            I wonder about that, I will have to put on a hoodie and think about a talking hitchhiking lemur. Maybe he would just point.

            Well wishes with the electronic classical album, what’s time, unless time is money? I have great admiration for you George, and your dedication to a schedule, that’s without a doubt another reason you’re successful.

            Hopefully you were able to take a few photos, and that your day has been great and productive. ~ Rexie the bored to tears feline watching a girl think & Mia

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          21. My joined-up handwriting on regular paper looks like the floor in a barber’s shop before its been swept. Maybe that’s art. I think the cave artist had a bit more style than me.
            Teaching is definitely not for me. I did a spell helping out really old people learn how to use a PC. That was one to one so it’s not really teaching. Besides if I was teaching it take me hours to read exam work and mark it. Even then the students would not be able to read their mark/grade.
            First thought or perhaps first memory is the point at which a human exists I think. I know a lot of people would disagree on this. Your words on control freaks are certainly true. Also, control freaks usually have a massive ego and because of that they often are not able (willing?) to apply the thought process you outlined. They are not people I want to be around. As you say, they kill art stone dead. I feel sorry for them. They generally want to make tons of money and have power over others. Why? (well we all want enough money but not at any cost to the person).
            No pics as the fog got worse, the rain then came in. Instead, I carried on with the electronic stuff. At last it is going where it needs to. Trumpets were the answer. I never saw it before.
            I’ve just remembered to eat. Hope Rexie has as well. Have a great day, Rexie the Remarkable & Mia

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          22. Such an image of your handwriting, brilliant, an abstract painting in the making.

            Helping might still counts as teaching, at least you didn’t have any papers to read or grade.

            Now, I’m wondering about that, first thought v. first memory. We just “are”, until there comes a time when we realize that we exist. That’s a huge leap. It makes me wonder are we the only species on the planet able to do this? I know a lot of large water mammals have keen abilities. I know that a dog recognizes his owners, especially if they’ve been apart, is this considered memory? Does the dog know that he exists?

            Control freaks are arrogant because of “massive ego”, arrogance holds hands with ignorance in my book. It would seem that they feel superior to the masses, knowing what is best for the lowly ones, again thinking only of their entitlement. I don’t know why, some skewed way of thinking, all under the guise of being good humanitarians. That’s just my spin, rather deplorable to keep people suppressed, a horrible tactic used for control.

            Fog replaced by rain, a good day to stay in. Nice to read that the electronic stuff is going where it needs to. Trumpets! Do you play a trumpet? If not do you grab the sound from somewhere out there in the virtual world?

            George, Rexie has not been eating as well as I would like him to, so picky. I offered him his food well over 20 times yesterday, each time shaking treats on top, ALL he would eat were the treats! I even offer him different varieties of food too, nothing changes, the same game. I hope you’ve had a wonderful and very productive day, enjoy your evening. ~ Rexie the Difficult & Mia

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          23. Now that, Mia was a fantastic read. My brain is fuzzy but I enjoyed it so much. In the morning I shall have a good think and reply. Thanks for this set of words. I haven’t had anything other than random thoughts for days. Time for proper thinking, Rexie the Choosy and Mia the Worried.

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          25. You’ve got me thinking here. That’s not always a good thing because of my annoying tendency to think random and ending up going off subject. The thing that hit me was that it would be interesting to see what dogs, cats, dolphins, any animal would do with the world if their brain was in a human form. They all have a consciousness. What would they do with it if they had human hands and feet. Fingers that could take their dexterity to new levels. Even better, say some apes took that final evolutionary step into human form. Would they first go out and buy a suit or still walk round with nothing on? So many questions for what they could do and make within a human form, or would their brains have to evolve before any possibilities were realized. That’s probably the flaw in my observation. Maybe. As you say, does a dog know it exists.
            Control freaks depress me. Maybe it’s the worst human trait. So many bad people, actions of people stem from the need to control.
            I’m rubbish with brass instruments. I don’t particularly like the sound except in classical music when power fits the composition.
            Does Rexie have a favourite, best ever dinner?
            Have a good day, Rexie & Mia

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          26. Thinking is a wonderful thing, and the beauty of thought is that it can be unpredictable even overwhelming, going in so many different directions, sometimes all at once. That is an interesting idea, I hope that they would be far more civilized and altruistic than we are. It would certainly turn the food chain upside down. This makes me wonder if aggression is a natural and inherent process, and is it possible to get to the other side? Would we see similar evolutionary characteristics in newly evolving dolphins with hands and feet. How does a peaceful race replace, overcome or live in harmony with an aggressive race (the universal us)? Now my mind is spinning. Maybe that’s the charm of the dog, as far as we know, he doesn’t have the capacity to think “I exist” making a selfish creature, selfless.

            There are so many bad people out there. There are so many simple solutions to provide for everyone, yet economically it would destroy big business and those in charge. It truly breaks my heart George. Can you imagine clean energy for everyone worldwide? I often wonder how I landed here, and not somewhere that the world considers less desirable.

            Do you own any brass instruments? Usually the sound tends to be too bright and blaring for me, a little goes a long way. I’m looking forward to hearing your composition, especially to hear how you used the trumpet. I’m sure it’s wonderful.

            Apparently to date I have not figured out what is his “best ever dinner”. It’s 8 am and I’ve already offered his breakfast to him five times. He ate the treats only. I hope your day has been terrifically productive and good. The sun has gone away and has been replaced with rain today. Such unpredictable weather we have. Enjoy the rest of your Friday. ~ Rexie & Mia

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          27. Interesting. If a dog can’t think, ‘I exist’ – which is a correct take – then it can only exist through the eyes of those – i.e. regular humans – who can say, ‘I exist’. I shall have to concentrate my random thinking on dolphin brains in a human body. I reckon a dolphin might be aware it exists, but don’t know why I think that.
            I don’t generally like brass, although to look at brass instruments are interesting in an odd way. Sometimes though, when you put lots of trumpets together there is a feeling of power if the sound builds properly and it doesn’t completely drown the other instruments. It’s working out OK at the moment, but I’ve yet to review it again this morning.
            England is being drenched today, the wind has dropped. I think the port must have closed last night because of the storm. There were hundreds of container lorries in traffic jams all over the place emitting diesel fumes. Not good.
            Enjoy your day, Rexie the Fasting Feline & Mia

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          28. I agree I think dolphins maybe aware of their own existence. I believe this because they seem to be able to make conscious choices or decisions. We’ve all heard or read about some amazing act of kindness from dolphins, saving a tired swimmer, or chasing sharks away from someone in danger.

            Brass instruments are quite beautiful in their construction, it’s truly their look that gets me, how swallow. I hope that when you reviewed your effort, it’s still “OK”.

            We have more rain coming, laughable, in no way does it even compare to your weather. I hope you’re staying dry and don’t have to be out on the road with the lorries. Diesel smells hideous, and it’s dirty. Thank you, enjoy the rest of your day too George. ~ Rexie the Man of His Own Mind & Mia (opened three new cans of food, no luck!)

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          29. I’ve had a lot of random thoughts about dolphins today. A dolphin brain in a human body. What would a dolphin do? I think they would make fishing rods and fish and/or take to Olympic high diving. As far as language goes, they make that clicky noise at each other already, so I think they might understand the language of the southern Africa tribe who have ‘click’ language – I’ve never understood how a ‘click’ language copes with long words though.
            The Arsenal lost today to our arch rivals. Following my team is the one thing I allow myself in terms of tribalism. It looks like the YouTube video will come into play, although right now I’m immersed in gaming to get over the defeat.
            The weather has turned colder than anything you’re likely to know and, from the signposts, the lorries are being directed my way again. The sea is not that bad right now, so the reason they are coming here again I haven’t worked out yet. I need to sing a couple of songs tonight, but don’t want diesel in my throat.
            May the sun come back for you and Rexie while the heat is turned up in my attic studio, George.

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          30. George, I’ve been thinking about dolphins since I read your comment this morning, and couldn’t help but wonder are they more advanced than we are? They would blow everyone out of the water with Olympic High Diving! You’ve taught me something I didn’t know about a Southern Africa tribe that clicks. Is it like Morse code?

            Sad to read about your team, enjoy your gaming! I like my temperatures between 70 – 80 degrees, below that is most uncomfortable. Wishing you well with the singing, maybe the lorries will move along quickly. I’m hoping for a bit of sunshine, just checked, Rexie is now napping. Stay warm in the studio. ~ R & M

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          32. Thank you for the link George, a fascinating read. So complicated. I did also listened to a couple of YouTube videos to get a sense of the sound of the clicks, and how they are made, pretty incredible.

            Would they? I sense they would be kind and compassionate teachers. Forgive me, 80 °F is the perfect temperature, approximately 27 °C? Thank you, I hope you slept well, it’s now Sunday for you! ~ Rexie & Mia

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    1. Thank you for your lovely words. I’ve been away from WP for a bit, hoping to be back in the swing of things shortly. I want to let you know that your photos are wonderful, they brighten my mornings. Please enjoy, “The Writing Garden” and take good care. ~ Mia

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  29. Mia, this is a very strong piece of writing. You have woven together doubt, heaviness, melancholy, and possibly existential crisis into a a beautiful prose piece. Seriously wonderful.
    You know, I used to hate being alone. I remember when I was still only 19 years old, I would get home from work and couldn’t change my clothes fast enough in order to get out the door and meet up with somebody, anybody, a friend, an acquaintance. I just didn’t want to be alone. Maybe that comes from a fear of having to think. Think about what really matters. Think about life, death, the reason and meaning of it all. The existential questions that all humans face at one point or another.
    I was reading a bit of your conversation with Rob, and the topic of us as individuals came up. We’ve talked about this before. That yes, even though we are all individual and unique, there is still a universal ‘sameness’ about humanity. I think about the book of Ecclesiastes where the author says, “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”
    I love your final question, “what is the weight of the soul?” Did you know that there was a doctor that actually conducted an experiment with patients just before dying and just after dying. He was convinced that the human soul had mass. What is interesting is that there was a slight difference in the body’s weight after dying. However, when the experiment was conducted in animals (i think dogs), there was no change in weight. This would give to understanding that humans have souls and the rest of the animal kingdom doesn’t. Just an interesting side note. Haha.
    I hope you are well Mia, and getting done what needs to be attended to. I look forward to your return when you’re able to.
    Please have a wonderful rest of the day and weekend.
    🙂 ❤

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    1. Hi Staci, thank you for a wonderful comment.

      How can you avoid the existential questions that arise periodically during our lives? As you mentioned perhaps it’s possible to stay so busy in an effort to outrun them, eventually i think they catch up with us. Avoidance creates a bunch of other issues.

      “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.” So true, it does seems new to us the first time and maybe every time we experience a riff in the thought process (wondering), making us feel unique, even alone, perhaps like we are the only ones that feel this way. Come to find out it’s universal, bringing us full circle back to, “…nothing new under the sun.”

      I know about the experiment your referring to. I remembered watching a documentary on a Dr. Duncan MacDougall, he measure the weight of several individuals at the time of their death, and determined the weight of a human soul. I don’t know if his work has since been verified or replicated, but it is fascinating. If a dog’s weight doesn’t change, does that mean dogs have no soul? I’m not sure I buy that, for me all life forces possess a certain energy that can’t be destroyed, only displaced, moving along a continuum. Just my thoughts, it work with science and religion.

      I hope you’ve been well and enjoying your creative process. I hope to be back soon, maybe intermittent for the time being. Wishing you well, take good care. ~ Mia 🙂 ❤

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    1. Ryan, you’re far too kind, thank you. Sad, at times I forget what I’ve written, in rereading this, I think it’s a universal human angst, yes, you’re right, the bag of self-imposed burdens that we lug around with us. For those of us that are creative they can be our greatest undoings, or they can also drive us to produce. Interesting in stepping away from WP for a while, it seems I’m able to read with more clarity, even my own efforts, which at times shocks me with the transparency of who I am. A bittersweet state of affairs that I wouldn’t have any other way.

      There’s a call for submissions coming up, opens June 1st. I think you may be interested, it appeals to me and many don’t. If you have some interest let me know and I will be happy to send you the information. Have a magical and spectacular Monday. ~ Mia

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      1. A break is always good when you need to recharge. I agree completely – no matter how hard you try, the unguarded pieces of you will always sneak in. My mum often bowls me over with her insights on pieces of my writing – things I never intended on including that she sees with clarity. It’s inevitable, I guess, and part of any artist’s voice.

        Most interested in submitting. Thank you 🙂
        daysofstone@telstra.com
        I hope your day is just as magical.

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    1. Brian, I remember watching a documentary on a Dr. Duncan MacDougall, he measure the weight of several individuals at the time of their death, and determined the weight of a human soul. I don’t think his result have been replicated, so… nothing to support his findings. I hope you’re having sunshine! 🙂

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      1. Yes we do have sun. March is one of the best months of the year here. (You live in California, right?)
        21 grams? I had to look him up. Sample is way too small. 6 cases. One would need at least 30 to 100 cases. I think I prefer the idea of a weightless soul. 🙂

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        1. Yes, California. It’s been lovely here, cold, sunny and sadly very little rain. We have had a bit the last few days, not enough. I fear we’ll have devastating wildfire season this year.

          I agree, the study was flawed, interesting that he attempted such a thing. I like your preference of a ‘weightless soul’. 🙂

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          1. Let’s hope for the rain over there.
            And as for the weightlessness, there is a song by Tom Jobim. A felicidade é como a pluma que o vento vai levando pelo are. Happiness is a feather the wind carries in the air. 😉
            Here’s the song. A beauty:

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  34. I feel so fortunate to have stumbled upon your luminous blog. I’ve been meaning to drop a comment on literally every piece I’ve read thus far (last 24 hours) but I am out of my depth, your eloquence, your craft, your thought provoking words, the iridescent imagery, the accentuated quotes, the unfiltered verses, I could go on..and on. But I’m in a state of awe. Know that even when I don’t comment, I am out there, somewhere applauding your work in ways I can’t articulate in words.

    – A.G.

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